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What to do with the baby?

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It’s been an interesting few days. Personally I’ve been reflecting on where I am in life, what the next stages may bring, what those mean in terms of changes to my current rather independent, free lifestyle. Part of these reflections have been letting go of somewhat very important routines.

I’ve been coming to Kovalam for 5 years now, this is my 6th consecutive year with Lino, practising yoga, having ayurvedic treatments, hanging out with amazing people around the globe, eating good food, connecting with nature and simply enjoying the Indian culture. I was pretty convinced that I lived in India in previous life. This morning at 7am, as I walked to the shala, there was a great sense of gratitude, I really smelled the earth, even the burning plastic (yes, not very healthy), the moist air in my lungs, crows and kites circling in the sky, distant sounds of the prayers in temples, smells of spices, and the day slowly beginning in households.

With that deep sense of gratitude there was also the fear, fear that one day my life would come to a place where I wouldn’t be here, amongst my friends, amongst this picture, I would be the thing that was missing, a hole.

What’s triggered these were a recent loving relationship with a man who appreciates christmas with family, and a very sincere email from a friend, a new mother who is also having life changing experience and letting go of Kovalam this year. I don’t quite know what the answer is to being the hole in Kovalam pictures but I have a feeling in my heart that I will struggle. Simply because being here means a lot to my body and soul.

Just as I walked up the shala steps those feelings lifted in an instant, because I saw the mere example of how it doesn’t have to be the anticipated way. There it was, the 3 year old Lucy lying on the floor nicely tucked into bedsheets by the shala, close to her mum who was practising on the third row keeping a close eye on her daughter. I remember Natalie pregnant to Lucy when she was here 3 years ago,a strikingly beautiful German woman who has been coming here for many years with her husband. And Lucy has been part of that journey every year, as we all watched her grow, play in the sand, make friends with the locals. Blond curly hair, big blue eyes, a warm smile.

I realised then that my life doesn’t have to change so much. Every circumstance is different for the parents, there is no right or wrong way of doing this but what I saw has been an inspiration. Knowing that my world doesn’t have to change drastically, there are parents who involve their children in their passion, in their travels, in their experiences without having to change so much for their kids.

Of course when Lucy woke up Natalie came rushing to her to say hello, had calm words with her, took her to the bathroom to wash her face, took out Lucy’s sketchbook and colouring pens, gave her water and biscuits to nibble on incase she was hungry. Then she explained that she’ll be somewhere where Lucy can still see her finishing her practice. It was that simple.

I gave Lucy some time to wake up but slowly approached her to draw with her on her sketchbook She loved colouring and drawing things that I couldn’t quite make out what they were. We exchanged names, said hello and became friends.

So I guess we all have choices, the norm might seem to be giving into the society’s way of raising a child. Keeping them in their safe environment, routine, near their school, becoming their chauffeur to many activities, wait until they’re 17-18 to have our lives back. Or letting them be part of who we are, allowing them to adapt to new experiences, meet new people.


2 comments

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  1. Hi Oz! Yes, how sad that so many parents become enslaved by their children’s routines and loose the way to their own path. Reading your thoughts reminded me of a couple of famous photographers (French) who took their 2 children since they were toddlers, to expeditions like Himalaya, living a family life but pursuing as well their passion and careers. Oh how exciting the lives of these children must have been!
    Having said that, it so much depends on the child and their ability to cope with change. Every child registers these experiences, away from the safety of the familiar and the routine, entirely differently!
    Peace xx M.

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  2. Jessica

    Hi Oz,

    I know you are here watching me read your posts over and over again. Even know i was not with you at all times we always shared thoughts and i have always understood you. I was very sad and couldn’t hold my tears when i hear you were no longer with us, but deep down i knew you were content and happy with your life. Reading your posts i can clearly see that you have completed your journey with success helping so many people and touching all our lives.

    I know you are in a place of happiness and around us at all times. You are an angel !

    I Love You Dear Friend.

    Cev

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